November 2009
16 posts
Merciful Ways To Dump Someone #5-9
ellencopperfield:
5. ‘I don’t feel we necessarily like the same kinds of sandwiches’
6. ‘your mom reminds me of ellen cleghorne’
7. replace the idea of showering with the idea of bathing while crying
8. when appropriate: ‘I don’t like Dispatch as much as I pretended I did’
9. ‘I used to think you read the whole internet, but now I feel like you only read part of it’
“As for real death— it has always been a temptation to me, since my mother solved...”
– Kurt Vonnegut, “The Sexual Revolution,” essay within Palm Sunday: An Autobiographical Collage (via sarahspy)
yo popski
There are certain aspects of my childhood where I’ve determined my parents did a good job and where they did a bad job. It’s 5:00am and really, I should be sleeping, but if I don’t get this down on paper, I know I’m going to forget this. These are almost like rules for my unborn son.
Brushing your teeth: When my parents told me to brush my teeth, their persuasive skills...
“AN OPEN LETTER
TO MY ARTISTIC POTENTIAL.
Dear Potential,
Don’t act...”
– McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: An Open Letter to My Artisti Potential.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man...”
– Theodore Roosevelt
a favorite quote of mine
(via reluctantbuddha)
“I do have flashes of brilliance unimpeded by crazy herbadge intake.”
– my landlord, via email correspondence
How frightening to think of the telelogical implications of telling your kid - when she’s at an age where he’ll believe there’s a Santa if you let her know, or a Satan if you rearrange the letters - that, above all else, he must follow these two guidelines in life:
You must be kind to everyone
The most rebellious act is to remain invisible and have an incendiary imagination...
I think this is really funny. There are ads out there advertising an online Ph.D from Liberty University in Theology. This is Jerry Fallwell’s touted academic system - the one where he hires URI Geology Ph.D students who study marine reptiles that existed 65 million years ago yet still retain a fervent belief in intelligent design as a better method than evolution. How does this happen? A...
Interpretive Demonstration Of The Fact That There...
David Foster Wallace (from footnote 23 in “Tense Present: Democracy, English, and the Wars Over English” in the April 2001 Harper’s Magazine) It’s sometimes tempting to imagine that there can be such a thing as a Private Language. Many of us are prone to lay-philosophizing about the weird privacy of our own mental states, for example, and from the fact that when my...
In the process of helping a friend write an essay about Save Trestles. I’ve stumbled upon some journal articles entitled the “Science of Surfing.” They’re coastal research essays that aim to “create a common language” that will “bridge the gap between the colloquial slang of surfers and the technical language of the scientists and and policy...
